Isis
by i.paint.the.sky
Summary: Set during the missing year on New Caprica. This story mostly focuses on the relationship between Laura and baby Hera, but will also show some other times that Bill came down to visit her. Now complete.
1. When I Think of Home pt 1

1. When I Think of Home (pt 1)

She landed when the President did. It still felt strange to Laura, thinking of anyone else being the President. Even more so because it was Gaius Baltar. But the feeling of _Colonial One_ shuddering beneath her as it landed on New Caprica was enough to dispel any lingering belief that this wasn't happening, that the Fleet hadn't made such a grave error in judgement as to elect Baltar to the highest office.

And that she had let them.

True, it wasn't that simple. She had done what was lawful, what was supposed to be right. But as she took that first step onto ground – the first step since Kobol – nothing could have felt more wrong.

All of her belongings were packed up quite in two little bags: the one that she had brought with her when she attended _Galactica'_s decommissioning, and the second which had been found to hold what she had accumulated since then. It wasn't much, just a few suits that had been graciously given to her, a few of her more treasured desk accessories. The copy of _Dark Day_ that Admiral Adama had insisted she take back, after the cancer was gone. Never lend a book.

She was glad of one thing, though. There, standing and waiting for her, was Maya. With the baby. Laura smiled. She was very thankful at this moment that she had picked a former teacher for the task of caring for that child. It would help keep her close by, keep them both under Laura's watchful eye.

Laura walked up to them. "Mada- I mean, Ms. Roslin," Maya said, blushing slightly, "welcome to New Caprica."

"Thank you, Maya. And please, call me Laura."

Maya nodded. "Laura, can I show you around?"

"Yes, that would be lovely." She wanted to put as much distance between her and her former ship as possible. If it had been up to her, she would have come with one of the civilian groups, just another face in the crowd. But she would never be just another face again. No, she would always be the former President, and as such her name and very presence still carried weight. And so Baltar had kept her on _Colonial One_, insisting it was easier this way – after all, why drag herself and her belongings to another ship, only to end up in the same place?

She had to admit, it made sense. That was the worst part. That, and knowing that by being associated with the arrival of Mister President she would also be seen as being a part of this travesty. As being complacent, perhaps even in agreement. Even though anyone who had bothered paying a shred of attention to the elections would have known otherwise.

As they walked, she took in her surroundings. Most of the civilian population by now had arrived and the landscape was littered with tents, lined up in a grid. As they passed through, many people nodded at Laura, greeting her. She smiled in return, but didn't stop.

The sun was out today and the feel of it warmed her skin. For a moment, she closed her eyes and enjoyed it. How she had missed true sunlight – even the illusion of Cloud Nine had never been able to compare to the real thing.

Cloud Nine. That thought destroyed the moment just as thoroughly as the nuclear blast had destroyed that ship, and the smaller ones around it. There would be no investigation, she had learnt. Nothing. Life would go on as if that tragedy had never happened, as if that attack on her survivor count was nothing.

She'd had the chance to ask Bill about it, after his last meeting before _Colonial One_ touched ground. He told her that Baltar refused to listen, that he said being President meant that he didn't have to. She hadn't said anything but that reminded her of a meeting with Adama so long ago, a meeting in which she told him Presidents don't need to explain themselves to anyone.

That was not the example that she had hoped to set for Gaius Baltar to follow.

Finally they reached the tent which had been set up for Laura before she arrived. It was right beside Maya's. Laura quickly stepped inside and put down her bags. She looked around at her new home. It wasn't much. A thin mattress and a sleeping bag. A shared kitchen across the way. A shared latrine down the lane. There was no school yet, but now that she was here that would change. There was a spot, right next to the temple, just waiting for her.

"I'll take you there next," Maya said. Before she had a chance though, a woman walked up to her, asking for help with the water pump. Maya had mentioned that it was tricky to use.

"Laura, can you take the baby for a moment?"

Her nod of agreement hid well how loaded that question was. She would have to get used to being around this child, to taking care of her.

After Maya had left, Laura stared down at Isis. At Hera, at this little being whose very existence could unravel the universe. And whose very essence had saved Laura's life.

It was a cruel thing she had done, Laura knew that. Taking a child away from her parents, making them believe she was dead. But for Maya, it had been a gift from the gods, to be given this little girl to love and protect after her own baby died.

"I would do it again," she said softly. "I would do it all again."


	2. Back in My Own Very Small Pond

2. Back in My Own Very Small Pond

Laura woke to the sound of Tory's voice and for a moment she almost forgot where she was. But that voice referred to her by name now and that one change signified all the others.

"Are you awake, Laura?"

"Yes, Tory," she called out as she forced herself out of bed. "Come in, please."

Laura took in Tory's appearance as she entered the tent; she did this every day, using it as her own personal weather forecast. Only a light sweater today, which meant it was sunny and decently warm. Laura reached for a pair of jeans and a brown turtleneck, quickly getting changed.

"I have the list of students and grade levels ready for you," Tory said from where she stood by the tent flap.

"Thank you," Laura said as she put on a light jacket. "How many are there?"

"Twenty-five who are grade-school aged."

Twenty-five. That number was so low. She knew there were more children, some too young and some too old, but still. She still remembered finding out the chilling truth, that despite everything they had done to survive, the human race would be extinct in eighteen years with the current birthrate. She still remembered telling then-Commander Adama that they had to start having babies, in order to have any chance at survival.

And some people had, but not enough. It wasn't even close to being enough.

"Laura?"

Tory's voice brought Laura's thoughts back into focus. "I'm fine," she said quickly. "Leave it with me so I can look at the list and the ages and begin to put together a curriculum."

"Yes, ma'am." Tory placed the paper on Laura's table/desk/all-purpose horizontal surface. "Maya made a pot of porridge, would you like some?"

"Yes, I'll be right there," Laura replied, as Tory left the tent. She stood still for a moment, looking around the tent. _Laura Roslin_, she thought, _this is your life_.

Sometimes it could be a relief: she no longer had to find answers to every question and approve every decision. She didn't have to face the press and she didn't have to play the constant game of balancing the Quorum's constantly conflicting views and ideas. Now she could focus on real children, instead of adults with child-like mentalities.

That was always what she had wanted, wasn't it? To be a teacher and a damn good one. She had only got into politics because Richard wouldn't leave her alone until she agreed to it. She had only become president because forty-two people had died instead of her. The mathematical absurdity of it all was almost funny.

No, she had never wanted to be the president…until somehow, she had. It had given her a purpose, something to do to make her life meaningful before she died. But she hadn't died and right now her presidency didn't mean much, as they sat on this godsforsaken planet like livestock waiting at the slaughterhouse.

"Damn it," she whispered to herself. "I have to stop doing this."

Life here was cold and dreary and mundane but it was still _life_. And as long as they were still alive there would be hope. Pulling her jacket close around her, Laura exited the tent and walked next door (so to speak) to where Maya and Isis lived.

She could smell the food before she entered the tent and the scent was delicious. Tory and Maya were both there, as well as a couple Laura didn't know as well, who lived just down the path. Tory was talking to them – from the parts of the conversation Laura caught, it seemed they were discussing the local vegetation.

And, of course, there was Isis, lying in the makeshift crib Maya had put together using an old storage box and a lot of padding.

Laura enjoyed these mornings, eating breakfast and just talking about anything. It reminded her of home, before her mother died, before her father and sisters died. She had spent many mornings with them all congregated in the kitchen, getting ready for another day. It was a domestic scene she'd had little time for once she got involved in politics. And when she became president, well, it was a rare day that she was able to stop for breakfast at all.

"Good morning, Laura," Maya said, smiling and she filled another bowl with porridge.

"Good morning," Laura replied, taking the bowl and inhaling the scent once more. "This looks delicious."

She sat down on the chair beside the crib. Isis was quiet but awake, looked up at Laura, her brown eyes wide. "Good morning, Isis," Laura said with a smile, before eating her first spoonful.

"She slept through the night for the first time," Maya said, walking over to stand beside Laura. Her voice was filled with pride. "She's growing up so fast."

"Yes, she is," Laura replied. She placed the bowl in her lap. So far, everything about Isis was perfectly normal. Perfectly human. There was nothing to cause anyone to question who or what the baby was.

"Tory said that you have a list of students for the school ready now?"

Laura took her eyes off the baby, looking back at Maya. "Yes, we should look at them together and see what we can come up with. They told me that the tent for the school should be ready by the beginning of next week, which means we have a lot of work ahead of us."

Maya nodded. "At least the book collection has been going well. There aren't enough copies of any one, of course, but I think we should be able to put together handouts, maybe even our own book of readings."

Laura was about to say more when the tent flap opened again and Maya's attention was drawn away to the newcomer. Laura slowly finished the rest of the porridge, making sure to savour each and every bite. She sat back for a moment after she was done, watching everyone around her and enjoyed the fact that all of their eyes were not on her. She was no longer standing in front of them all, playing her role and praying she did it well enough to keep everyone alive another day. And even if she did sometimes miss it, there still was something to be said for putting down the burden and relaxing. Even if she knew in her gut that it wouldn't last.

_Yes_, she thought, casting another glance around the tent, _this is my life._


	3. Borrow the Moonlight Until it is Through

3. Borrow the Moonlight Until it is Through

Days like this made Laura wonder if perhaps the Lords of Kobol weren't on Baltar's side after all. After a week of cloud cover and drizzle and malcontent, the weather for the much lauded Ground-Breaking Ceremony was perfect. No one could have asked for a better day and everyone was taking advantage of the warm spell to wear some of their nicer clothes, Laura included.

It was the first time she'd been able to wear this red dress. Olivia, her neighbour to the east, had been hard at work making new clothes for everyone and insisted that Laura take it. It was such a beautiful colour, but it was also so lightweight that most days she would have had to wear a sweater over it, covering it all up. Plus, a long skirt wasn't exactly practical most days in the mud. But today she put it on and felt energized by its vibrancy.

The morning was filled with the usual tasks: eating, cleaning, and otherwise preparing for the day. But after eating lunch next door at Maya's, the routine was placed aside. Laura walked toward the centre of town, where everything had been set up for the ceremony and, more importantly, for the party afterward. She knew they were expecting a fair number of officers from the _Galactica_ and the _Pegasus_ and all the other ships left in the air. It was risky, leaving the ships so empty, but Laura knew that if the Cylons found them, there was nothing a few more soldiers up there could do about it.

As she walked she was constantly scanning her surroundings, looking to see who was here. Laura had to admit, if only to herself, that there was one particular person she was looking for most – and there he was. Doing what, exactly? She had to get closer before she could see and, when she did, she quickly stifled a giggle at the sight of William Adama burying his bare feet in the sand. That and the rather adorable moustache he now had. Not that she would ever tell him that she found it adorable.

Though maybe she should; the reaction would be priceless.

Instead she started walking toward him again. "I didn't expect to find you playing in the sand," she said, as she sat down beside him.

He looked at her for a moment, a smile playing on his lips. "It's not sand. It's alluvial deposits. This used to be the river mouth."

"And you just had to take off your shoes and play in the alluvial deposits," she replied, watching him with amusement. "How romantic," she added, before looking away. It had always treaded a fine line, this flirtation of theirs. But now, things between them were different; she wasn't the President anymore and that once firm barrier was looking shaky in the sunlight.

"That's a nice colour on you," he said, after a moment of silence.

"Thank you." She pulled the wrap forward slightly, covering up more of her skin. She told herself it was because of a sudden chill in the air.

"It's good to see you, Laura."

She nodded. "You too, Bill." After a moment, she rested her hand on his arm.

Together they watched the set-up for the ceremony. "Baltar tried to convince me to be a part of this," Laura said.

Bill looked at her. "And what did you tell him?"

She grinned. "I told him to go to hell, though not exactly in those words."

He was still looking at her, his blue eyes steady. "You still think this is a mistake," he said softly.

It wasn't a question, but she answered it anyway. "Yes, I do."

They sat in silence for a few more moments, until Lee appeared, bearing drinks for both of them in his hands. Laura took a grateful sip of hers, pleased to have a distraction to keep her from having that same conversation again.

New Caprica was doomed. She just knew it.

The Groundbreaking itself was dull at best. The symbolism of one shovel filled with dirt was something Laura had never completely understood, even before the end of the world. But at least she had good company for it, along with a healthy serving of alcohol. She had something else too, though she wasn't sure how Bill would react to that suggestion.

As the crowd began to disperse, she found herself standing with the Admiral beside one of the nearby tents. Everyone around them was caught up in the celebration. It made Laura smile, to see everyone so happy and carefree. They deserved it, they all did. Well, everyone except Baltar.

Now that they were reasonably alone – or as close as they were going to get – Laura decided to be brave. Reaching into the small pocket on the inside of her wrap, she pulled out the two joints inside. Bill was watching her, his eyes fixed on her hand.

"What's that?"

"Ah, these are something Tory brought to my attention the other day," she replied, handing one to him. "There's this plant that grows nearby here. I'm told that the effect of smoking it is quite relaxing, but I haven't tried it myself. Not yet."

Bill held the joint between his thumb and index finger. "This sure takes me back a long time," he said, smiling slightly.

"Admiral," she replied, with a grin, "I am shocked by this revelation."

He laughed. "You're the teacher. Aren't you supposed to be setting a good example for the children?"

Laura smiled, putting just a hint of suggestion into her voice. "Only in the classroom, Bill."

He laughed again and they both quickly lit up their joints, taking the first long drag. Laura sputtered a bit, inhaling too deeply at first. "It has been a long time," she said, answering his questioning gaze.

The rest of the day was a whirlwind of music and smiles and laughter, all seen through a haze of intoxication. Without a doubt, it was the best day New Caprica had ever seen. And one of the best Laura had seen for a very long time.

Somehow she found herself giving Bill the grand tour of the city. Or at least a tour of the way to her tent. It was getting late by the time they reached it. Laura looked up at the darkening sky, still thrilled at the sight of evening stars. She noticed a pile of sandbags nearby and walked toward them, then lay down to get a better look. She was surprised but also thrilled when Bill lay down beside her.

They talked and talked. Bill even sang for a bit, something Laura had never expected to hear. Somehow, as it got colder, she found herself curled up against him. And it felt so…right. They'd both been right before; it _was_ good.

"Let's stop spending the little time we have left here worrying about when it's going to end."

She heard herself speaking and listening to herself she agreed. Yes. This was borrowed time. And she should stop worrying. Because where was it getting her? Nowhere.

And they should just enjoy this.

Bill had the same idea she did, apparently, as she felt his lips lightly press against hers. She sighed then giggled a bit as the moustache tickled her skin. She reached over, grabbing his far shoulder and using it to pull herself up partially onto his chest. She kissed him again as his arms wrapped around her back.

She let her forehead rest on his cheek. _It would be so easy_, she thought to herself, _to just fall into this._

"Yes, it would be."

Laura laughed as she realized she'd spoken aloud. She shifted forward for one more kiss, before slowly returning to lie beside him.

"But we won't," she whispered. "Because one day it will end and then…we need to stay ready for it."

She wasn't sure if Bill agreed, but he didn't press the issue. Laura curled up closer to him, her eyelids beginning to feel very heavy. It wasn't long before the world went dark and her mind was filled with dreams…dreams in which certain barriers didn't exist.

It was pleasant – perhaps too pleasant – to wake up beside him in the morning. Her head ached from yesterday's drinking, though she still felt the effects of the joint. Slowly, she got up, carefully trying not to wake him.

She walked over toward Maya's tent. As usual, the smell of fresh breakfast greeted her before she reached the flap. Maya and the baby were the only ones there, but they had a feast ready. Eggs and sausage. Laura didn't know exactly how she would have gotten them, but right now it hardly mattered.

"Good morning, Maya."

Maya turned toward her. "Good morning. I was just about to bring two plates over for you."

Laura smiled. "I guess that secret's out."

Maya laughed. "Don't worry, I'll never tell a soul."

"Thank you." Laura walked over beside the crib, looking in to see Isis sleeping. "I'll save you the trip," she added, as she picked up the plates Maya had put together.

Maya called out to her as she was leaving with the food. "It was wonderful to see you having such a good time, Laura. You should relax more."

_I wish I could_, Laura thought.

She found Bill sitting up on the sandbags by the time she returned. "Breakfast?" she asked, holding the plate out to him.

"Thank you," he said. His eyes were still slightly unfocused, letting her know he was also still feeling the intoxication of last night. "This smells good."

"I know. Maya, who lives just over there, makes breakfast for everyone each morning. This is above and beyond what she normally makes though."

Laura sat down beside him, careful not to spill any of the precious meal. They ate in silence but it was a comfortable silence. After she finished, she let her head rest on his shoulder for a few moments, enjoying this time for just a little longer. His hand covered hers, his thumb slowly stroking her wrist.

"When do you have to leave?" she asked eventually.

"I'm expected back on _Galactica _by 1100 hrs."

"Mmm…that's not long."

"No, it's not," Bill said, as he finally got to his feet. He offered his hand to help her get up as well.

"Well, Admiral," she said as they started walking, heading toward the Raptors that would take the military officers back, "I do hope you have enjoyed your first visit to New Caprica City."

He smiled. "I have."

She smiled back, a happy hum in her throat. Bill reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly.

"And trust me, Laura, I'll be back."


	4. Nothing's Going to Harm You

[A/N: Sorry for the delay with this one, life's been keeping me busy and it took its toll on my goal to have a new chapter of this one out for every new episode of 4.5. But hopefully now I will be able to get that back on track.

Also, here is a clip that I recently found which actually works nicely as a prelude to this fic (and will be mentioned later in this chapter). Some of you may have seen it already, but it's definitely worth watching again: is killing my link, but here's the end, just add it to the regular Youtube address /watch?v=oiSmZXiuKBU]

* * *

4. Nothing's Gonna Harm You, Not While I'm Around

Isis was crying.

It was impossible to focus on anything, except for that fact. Isis had been crying all last night. And all day. A few times she had fallen asleep briefly, only to wake an hour later, screaming again.

Eventually Maya had come to Laura in tears, exhausted and panicked because her little girl was sick and they could do nothing about it. What medicine was left on New Caprica had to be saved for life or death situations. Upset babies hardly counted.

"You need to sleep," Laura told Maya, after the woman had finally calmed down. Laura's mind drifting back to those horrible days of jumping every thirty-three minutes, remembering the sheer exhaustion she had felt then and how every little action and thought had taken ten times the effort it normally would. From what she could tell, Maya was even worse off. "I'll take care of the baby; you go and lie down for a bit."

Maya was too exhausted to object, which worried Laura more than anything else. Taking Isis from her, Laura quickly sent Maya back to her tent, while also asking Tory to find Doc Cottle. The whole time, Isis continued to cry, clearly in pain and exhausted. _That sound_, she though, _could break anyone's heart. _

It already had hers.

Laura sat down near the crib once she got into the tent, bouncing Isis gently in her lap. Most of the time that calmed the baby down. Right now was clearly not one of those times; if anything, it made it worse.

"Oh honey," Laura said softly as she stood up again and began to pace around the room. "It will be okay, I promise."

Isis didn't seem convinced as her cries continued, though Laura thought they might be quieter now. Or perhaps she just wanted to believe that, like she had wanted to believe so many things.

She heard Cottle coming before she saw him. It was always easy to recognize that gruff voice, filled with complaints and usually accompanied by tobacco smoke. Where he got so many cigarettes Laura didn't know. At least he always left them behind when examining any children.

He walked into the tent, his eyes immediately locking on Isis. "What the frak have you been doing to that child? Put her down on the bed; let me take a look at her."

Laura did what he told her without a word, hoping that somehow he would have a miracle cure. A miracle cure that didn't involve any actual medicine nor reveal Isis' true parentage to the world.

"So?" she asked when he straightened up.

"Just a cold, though she's certainly squalling enough to make you think it's worse than it is. Her temperature's a bit high, but nothing to worry about. Make sure she gets lots of fluid and rest, same as anyone else."

"That's it?"

He looked at her, clearly annoyed. "Yes, that's it. That's all anyone can do right now and you damn well know it, young lady. Why you even called me out here for this I'm sure I don't know."

Laura looked over at him, her gaze level. "I think you know exactly why I asked you to examine her."

He scoffed. "Yeah well, I'm going now; you've wasted enough of my time. For all intents and purposes, this child is a human as any other. She gets sick, her immune system will deal with it. Satisfied?"

Laura felt her old politician's smile falling into place. "Yes, thank you, Doctor."

She watched impassively as he left the tent, before walking to stand by the bed. Isis was still crying but now Laura was sure she was quieter. She might even finally be ready to fall asleep. Carefully, Laura lay down beside the baby. She reached toward Isis' hand and soon found it clasped firmly around one of her fingers.

"We did this a long time ago," she whispered. "You won't remember but I always will. It was just after you were born and you were so small. I was almost afraid I'd break you, just with a touch."

Laura stared up at the ceiling – or what passed for a ceiling when you were in a tent – and sighed. "This world's such a mess, Isis. I'm sorry we couldn't give you a better one to be born into." She paused. "Hmm…of course, in any other world you wouldn't have been born at all, so maybe some parts aren't so bad after all."

She heard voices outside and stopped, waiting until they had drifted away before speaking again. "I know that what I did was cruel. I know that and I accept it. But that doesn't mean I don't have regrets. But even so, it kept you safe, safer than you would be if the Cylons knew you were here. And that I will never regret."

She looked back over at the baby, who was finally – blessedly – asleep. Laura leaned over and lightly kissed her forehead, before lying back and closing her eyes, trying to get some sleep of her own.


	5. Deep in December It's Nice to Remember

[A/N: I delayed this chapter a bit because I wanted to see all of Daybreak first, because working in a closed canon is easier than an open one. Because of this, the chapter does contain references to the Daybreak flashbacks.]

* * *

5. Deep in December It's Nice to Remember

Laura pulled Isis close to her, wrapping both of them in her dark, shapeless sweater as they tried to stay warm. The temperature itself wouldn't have been so bad, if it hadn't been raining; the dampness just cut into your bones. Add that to the fact that it was just past noon yet dark enough to be early evening – if not later – and it was enough to make everyone want to crawl into bed and stay there all day. She wondered if they would ever get used to this climate.

Finally they reached her tent. She was taking care of Isis for the next couple of hours, while Maya was out with some friends. It had taken awhile but a social life was finally starting to take root here. It had started with a bar, of course, but gradually more places had popped up. Laura was glad that Maya could get out there; she was still so young, so full of life.

"However," she said to Isis, as she put the baby down on her bed. "You are too young for such things. And I am too old for it, so looks like it will be just the two of us for awhile."

She grabbed some wood and kindling and began to stoke the fire in her stove. "Of course, it might actually be three," she said as she pulled out her lighter. "We'll see if the military can tough the weather out enough to keep to the shore leave schedule."

Isis laughed, almost as if she understood the joke. Sometimes, Laura wondered if maybe she actually did.

Pushing that thought away, she finished with the fire and closed the doors, remaining there for a moment to enjoy the wave of heat before heading back toward the bed. She sat down beside Isis. "Looks like we're just going to have to wait and see. It's a good thing that we have this book for us to read."

Laura pulled out the book. It was very rough looking, since it had been made by hand by one of the women who had been from the same ship as Maya. The drawings were certainly amateurish and the writing uneven but still, it was a wonderful story of a little girl with hair so long that all these animals decided to live in it and she always had friends around. Laura placed the book in front of Isis and read, following the words with her finger as she read it.

While she was still reading, she heard the flap of the tent move. Out of the corner of her eye, a familiar form entered but remained silent. Laura kept reading; only when she turned the back cover over did she look at Bill, a smile on her face.

"You made it."

He grinned at her as he hung his jacket over a chair to let it dry off. "You ever doubted it?"

"Of course not," she replied, laughing. "We have complete faith in our Admiral, don't we, Isis?" She laughed again as she saw the baby's attention firmly fixed on the book, which apparently looked quite tasty. "No honey, you don't eat books," she said as she pried it away. "Bookworm is not meant literally."

She looked around and quickly found a small teddy bear, which she handed to Isis to forestall any complaints. When she looked back over at Bill, she found him sitting nearby, smiling as he watched them. She raised her eyebrows at him in askance.

"You're good with kids."

She nodded. "I've always enjoyed being around them. It's fun."

Silence. He was watching her carefully, clearly debating something. "What?"

"Nothing," he replied.

She didn't believe for a minute. "Bill."

"I was just wondering why you never had any."

"Ah." Laura turned back toward Isis, running her hand over the baby's head. "Well, I never got married, for one."

He nodded. "That doesn't help."

"No, it doesn't. But that's not all." She paused, her mind in a flood of memories, most of which were less than pleasant. "I told you about the car accident that my father and sisters were killed in, right?"

"Yes, you did."

"One of my sisters was pregnant."

"I'm sorry to hear that." His voice was rich with emotion; sympathy, not pity. This was a man who knew what loss meant.

"It was…tough," she said, her voice hesitant as she realized the word didn't even begin to describe it. But she knew he would know what she meant. "It wasn't long after that I joined Richard's campaign and left teaching behind me."

"And now you're back at it."

"Yes, and I-" Laura was interrupted by a sudden cry from Isis. Quickly she picked the baby up and began to walk around the tent. "Shhh, it's alright," she whispered into Isis' ear.

Bill watched her and she could almost see the memories in his eyes of his own sons. Almost unconsciously, her gazed drifted to the wedding band he always wore. She looked away before he caught her. She had never questioned him about why he still wore the ring. Something always held her back from that.

She kept walking, even when Isis settled down, thinking that maybe the baby could use some sleep.

"It has been nice," she continued eventually. "I did miss teaching, though in the end I think I may actually have enjoyed politics more." She laughed at the incredulous look on his face. "I'm serious, as stressful as it was, there were lots of good times too. More so in the lower ranks, admittedly. But even being President wasn't all bad."

Bill chuckled. "You did a much better job than I expected."

"Yes, what was it you called me…a frakking schoolteacher?"

"Something like that," he admittedly.

"And now that's what I am again," she said, closing her eyes and smiling. "Back to grading homework and going over the seating chart in my head over and over again, to make sure I remember everyone's name. It's easier now, since the..." her voice trailed off as he looked at her, laughing again. "What?"

"Do you sit and go through each name and where they sit?"

"Yes, do you have a problem with that, Admiral?"

He sighed, shoulders still shaking with silent laughter. "Not at all, Ms Roslin. In fact, I do almost the same thing with my officers."

She stared at him for a moment, before joining his laughter. "You know all of their names?"

"I do my best."

"Impressive. I'm sure they appreciate it."

She laughed again, then realized that she was jostling Isis. However the girl obviously didn't mind, since she was fast asleep. Kissing her lightly on the forehead, Laura laid the baby back on the bed.

When she turned back to Bill he had stood up, giving her the chair he had been using and taking the one with the drying coat for himself. "Thank you."

"I bet you're the type of teacher that all the girls want to be and all the boys have crushes on."

Laura looked up at him, incredulously. "What?" The name Sean Allison popped into her head, only to be pushed quickly away.

Bill said nothing, just smiled.

She shook her head and sighed heavily. "When's the next time you're coming down here?"

"Almost two months," he replied regretfully. "We're getting spread pretty thin up there. Can hardly put together a decent CAP."

"Gods, Bill, if the Cylons come back…"

"Not much we can do."

She looked over at him carefully. "You don't think they're going to come back."

He met her gaze levelly. "No, I don't. It's been almost a year now. If we haven't heard from them now I don't think we're going to."

She looked away from him, up toward the ceiling as if she could see through it and through the clouds, all the way into space. Bill reached over, laying a hand lightly on top of hers. She smiled at him but her cheeks felt the strain of it.

"You don't believe me."

"No," she said sadly. "I don't."


	6. Children Will Listen

[A/N: Just so you know, I have two more chapters planned after this one. All good things must come to an end…hopefully this fic qualifies as a good thing (I think it does but of course I am biased).]

* * *

6. Children Will Listen

It had been one of those weeks when each day seemed to stretch on forever. Laura knew she wasn't the only one who felt it. She saw it reflected in the eyes of her students, in the slight, weary slump of Maya's shoulders. Thank the Gods it would be over soon.

"Alright everyone," she called out. Thirty-two eager faces looked up at her, not about to be disappointed. "That's going to be it for the day; off you go to your parents. Have a lovely weekend, everyone."

She'd never seen the school clear out so fast. She and Maya immediately began to clean and tidy things up. "Shouldn't take too long," Laura said with a smile as she began collecting drawing materials.

She was straightening up her desk when she heard a familiar voice.

"Is school out already?"

Her blood ran cold. Gaius Baltar, President of the Twelve Colonies and of this _lovely_, little planet.

"Maya, why don't you go home for the night," she said, her voice sounding so hollow. Maya nodded, picked up Isis, and left without a word. Laura drew in a deep breath before finally turning and facing him.

"What can I do for you?" she asked with a smile.

He walked further into the classroom, his hand touching the front table that served as a desk for three students. Laura pushed away the thought that she would have to clean that table again, this time with the strongest soap she could find.

"Nothing in particular, Laura," he said. The way he so casually used her name was grating. "I was just in the neighbourhood, making the rounds. Checking up on my constituents."

Laura clasped her hands behind her back.

"I do hope everything is going well for you, even if it is a step down the career ladder."

She squeezed her hands tight.

He continued to survey the room. "You've certainly done well with the limited supplies."

"Thank you, Gauis." She knew the lack of a title would not be lost on him. "We do the best we can."

"Yes, well…that's good." He turned and looked at her for a moment. She forced herself to meet his gaze evenly, calmly. Her nails dug into skin deeply, though not quite breaking the skin. Yet.

Finally he looked away. "Well, I should be off. Lots of people to see, important things to do. All part of being President. But of course, you know that."

Her arms were beginning to shake as she watched him leave. The smile never left her face. She stood there for a few minutes, breathing deeply and willing her mind to push away thoughts of violence and airlocks. It wasn't going to happen and so thinking about it wasn't going to help.

It only took another ten minutes to finish cleaning and so Laura soon found herself walking back towards her tent, trying to think of _anything_ that wasn't Gaius frakking Baltar. Along the way she passed a dog sitting near a yellow bowl and stopped to pet him.

Jake was the dog's name; the same as Billy's dog back on Caprica. Even though this dog wasn't the same one, Laura always felt a closeness to Billy when she was here. She still missed him so much. She couldn't help but wonder, every now and then, what he would have been doing today, if he was…

She made herself walk past the dog.

Maya's head was poking out of her tent flap, watching. She smiled when she finally saw Laura. "I was worried we'd have to send a rescue party," she called out.

"Don't worry about me," Laura replied.

"Oh, we weren't. The rescue party would have been for Dr Baltar." Both women laughed. "Come on in, Laura, I have supper for all of us ready."

Laura inhaled deeply. "It smells wonderful."

"It tastes even better."

Laura smiled to see Tory inside, already enjoying a bowl of Maya's special chilli. Laura filled one for herself and sat down on the bed. She soon found small hands clutching at her pants. "Hello Isis, honey," she said with a smile. "I hope you didn't get too scared by the big bad President."

Isis pulled herself into a standing position, one of her favourite new skills. She smiled when she was finally upright. Laura smiled back, finally beginning to feel relaxed. "Mmmm, this chilli is wonderful, as always," she said after her first spoonful.

"Thank you," Maya said, coming to sit beside her on the bed.

"Mama," Isis said, reaching a hand over.

"Hi sweetie," Maya replied, reaching to let the girl grasp her hand.

Laura watched them as she ate. Maya was just glowing, as she always did whenever her daughter was in the room. And Isis? She was the most darling child in the world. The sweetest, most perfect…and most normal. Sometimes Laura even forgot that this was the child of Sharon Valerii, now Sharon Agathon.

It was easy to forget about the Agathons here; neither of them had ever come down to New Caprica. It made things so much easier to hide the truth. It was still only known by three people: herself, Tory, and Doc Cottle. There were times that she had wondered about telling Bill but when he'd been the one to marry Helo and the Cylon, Laura had remembered why she could never tell him. He was still too close to Sharon. He was too close to everyone under his command; that was his greatest weakness…and his greatest strength.

Laura swallowed another mouthful of chilli, reminding herself how useless such thoughts were. Isis was safe and happy here. She was loved. Sure, the conditions weren't 100% planetside but Laura was convinced that this was the best place for the child to be.

She finished her meal and helped clean up. She'd almost completely forgotten about seeing Baltar – almost.

"I should get going," she said after the last dishes were dried. "It's been a very long day."

"Alright," Maya told her, quickly putting the last dish back in its place. "Goodnight, Laura."

"Lala.'

Laura turned to look at Isis. "What's that…?" she asked, her voice trailing off as she walked over to the baby.

"Lala!" Isis said, holding her hands up towards Laura.

And now she had forgotten about Gaius Baltar and Cylons and everything she hated about this planet because everything she loved about it was right in front of her.


	7. Everything in Life is Only for Now

[A/N: One more chapter to go after this one, I hope to have it up soon.]

* * *

7. Everything in Life is Only for Now

Their arrival was the stuff of nightmares. Literally, Laura had been seeing this happen in her dreams for months, over and over again. The Cylons finding them. The Cylons killing them.

The Cylons discovering Isis.

She had stayed at the school till the last student went home. She didn't have to wait long for the parents to rush over, art projects and presentations beyond forgotten. Once the school was empty, Laura walked outside. Centurions were marching down the street. She made herself watch them, forcing their reality into her mind. This wasn't a nightmare; this was real.

And even worse, she kept hearing a rumour that the Fleet had jumped away. Eventually it was repeated enough for her to assume it was real. Not that she had ever doubt it. Bill had told her how limited their defence capabilities had become. If they had stayed, the Cylons would have blown them right out of the sky. At least this way, someone was safe.

That thought didn't stop Laura from feeling more alone than she had been since the attacks on the Colonies. Maybe since even before then.

Eventually she had to get out of there. The practical side of her thought about going back and cleaning. The rest of her quickly shot the idea down. Right now she needed to be with friends and…friends.

She cut back through the school's tent, then took her regular path back home. She passed many familiar faces along the way; they all looked lost. It had been so long since they had settled here on New Caprica – longer than they had been running after the first attack. Everyone had finally felt safe, wrapped up in Gaius Baltar's pretty little lie. Everyone but her.

She was walking beside the tent that Kara and Sam shared when she saw another familiar face. A chill ran down her spine as Laura looked at Leoben, seeing the face she had sent out an airlock what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Hello, Laura," he said, smiling as if they were old friends. "Have you seen Kara Thrace?"

She had seen Kara, watching the marching metal parade. She'd been talking to Galen Tyrol. Laura had been too far away to hear the conversation but she could imagine what Kara would have said. She wouldn't give up. None of them would, even if it killed them.

"If I had seen her, do you think I would tell you?"

Leoben laughed and that one act increased her hatred for him more than she thought possible. "No, you wouldn't, would you. But don't worry, I'll find her." He smiled again. "Have a good day, Laura."

She stood still as he walked past, breathing slowly to calm her nerves. Only when the sound of footsteps finally receded did she carry on her way. She thought about trying to warn Kara but doubted there was anything she could do. Besides, no offence to the former Captain Thrace but she was not Laura's most pressing concern. That was much closer to home.

Finally the familiar tents were in sight. Laura went past her own to the one beside it. "Maya," she called out, "I'm coming in."

Maya was sitting on her bed, holding Isis closed. The child was squirming, clearly uncomfortable, but she didn't cry. Tory was sitting on a chair nearby. Everything was so quiet; neither woman knew what to say. Laura didn't either and so she didn't even try, she just sat on the bed and let it all sink in even more.

They sat in near silence; every now and then they heard movement outside, saw shadows crossing the tent wall. It was impossible to tell whether the source was human or one of the skin jobs. Laura said a silent prayer of thanks to the Gods every time the silhouettes moved past the tent, leaving them in peace. For now.

Eventually Laura's mind shifted back into focus. She had faced so many crises before; she'd turned out to be quite good at it. She began to take stock of the situation. Most of the former military crew was on New Caprica now – she'd even seen Saul Tigh earlier that day, when the worst she had to think about was homework assignments and when she'd claimed that the president's problems weren't her own. She had been proven wrong in just about every way when it came to that assessment.

But that wasn't the point right now. The point was that the human resources on this planet were great. And Bill must have had a contingency plan, in case this had happened. A plan that Tigh would know. That idea gave her hope, something she knew she needed right now.

So they had people. And…not much else. But then again, when had they ever had anything else?

A new sound was coming near: this one was clearly mechanical. More Centurions, coming closer by the second. They waited, hardly daring to breathe. And it was at that moment that Isis finally had enough and began to cry.

Maya leapt to her feet, bouncing her daughter, trying to calm her down. Laura moved to the tent flap, peaking outside. There they were. Walking beside was…D'Anna Biers? "Oh my gods," Laura whispered as another D'Anna appeared: all this time, she had been a Cylon, another agent planted like Boomer. At any other time, this revelation would have been world shattering but after this day it was just another detail.

One of the D'Annas stopped and looked towards the tent, no doubt hearing Isis' cries. The woman stood there for a moment, then moved on. They all moved along, heading down the path and out of sight at a swift pace; though never swift enough.

Laura turned back to Maya and Tory and Isis. She looked at them all, the three people she cared about most on this planet. And she finally found the words they needed to hear, the words she needed to say.

"We will get through this. We will fight them and we will beat them and we'll get off this mud ball, all of us. I promise."


	8. When I think of Home pt 2

[A/N: Alright, so this is the last chapter. I've skipped past the occupation, since we saw a fair amount of that in the show itself, and gone right to the aftermath. The original idea of this chapter started out as being its own fic, showing the A/R reunion scene we never got after New Caprica. However, while I was plotting it out, Isis decided to pull the idea into itself, which it did without consulting me.

That said, I feel like I should note that it's not the uh, most joyful of reunion scenes, mainly because the themes of this story wouldn't really let it be. And, of course, I am going with RDM canon for the A/R relationship in this one, in which things did not become intimate between them on New Caprica.

Anyway, thank you everyone for reading this, the reviews I've gotten have been lovely and really made me smile. I hope you all like how this story ends.

Thanks goes out to my beta Jes, who still needs to actually watch BSG, and also to Margaret, for looking over scenes for characterization when I needed a second opinion.]

* * *

8. When I Think of Home (pt 2)

When Laura looked out the window, she saw the familiar – though long missed – sight of _Galactica_'s flight deck. When she looked inside the room, she saw the last remnants of Gaius Baltar's presidency, mixed in with artefacts of her own. Her ship, _Colonial One_ was her ship again. And she was back in space, every moment taking them farther away from New Caprica and all the many horrors they had witnessed there.

No distance, be it time or space, would ever be enough to erase it from their minds. Everyone who had come back alive would carry their memories and scars with them for the rest of their lives. Every one of them was a little bruised, a little damaged, and a lot worse for the wear.

She walked over and sat on the chair behind the desk. It felt the same as she remembered, as if no time had passed. A few moments later she heard footsteps, also familiar. She'd known it wouldn't take long. She drew in a deep breath, her racing heart a testament to how suddenly nervous she felt. She looked up at the doorway and saw William Adama appear.

He'd shaved. She'd almost forgotten what he looked like without the moustache. Even though she had once been used to it, the sight of bare skin was strange.

She wondered in the moment of silence that followed his arrival what looked different about her, what looked strange. She'd lost weight, but he'd seen her with less. But she couldn't believe that this was the only change. There had to be more, to make him look at her like that.

Someone had to break the silence. It might as well be her. "Admiral," she said softly, setting the tone with one word.

"Ms Roslin," he said, something he hadn't called her since they first met. He walked into the room and sat down on the other side of the desk. Yet another familiar scene.

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again without a word. She didn't know what to say. She had thought it would be easier to shift back into official business, pushing aside the personal relationship, but it felt so wrong. She dropped her gaze from his face to her desk, shaking her head slightly as she rested her forehead on her hands. Throughout it all, he waited. She wondered what he must be thinking.

She raised her head, resting her chin on one hand. "Bill," she said finally and finally she felt at ease.

"Laura," he said, his shoulders relaxing slightly. "Good to have you back."

She nodded. "Good to be back."

He nodded. "So, what now?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "And I'm not sure it's really my decision."

Bill's raised eyebrows clearly showed his opinion about that. "If you think I'm going to accept Tom Zarek as President…"

"He stood up to the Cylons," she reminded him.

"And he's a terrorist."

She smiled slightly at that. "Fair enough. That doesn't change the fact that he was elected and I, as we both well know, was not."

She tried not to sound bitter but one look into his eyes showed her that she had failed. It was impossible not to regret the decision to back down. It didn't matter that it had been the right choice for them; despite the voters being so very wrong, she couldn't take that last step past the line. Even Laura Roslin had her limits.

"Let me talk to him," Bill said eventually, dispelling another awkward silence from settling. "Without military support, he has nothing."

She paused a moment before nodding. She was done trying to fight him on this because she wanted it back too. She longed for the old status quo, or as much of it as could be restored.

She sat up, straightening her spine. It was going to be a slow process but she was feeling more centered. Maybe even…safe. At the very least, safer.

"Are you alright?" Bill asked.

She thought about her answer for a moment. "No," she finally admitted.

He absorbed that news seemingly impassive but a slight flicker in his eyes told her it upset him – you could always tell what he really felt by looking in his eyes. "Will you be?" he asked.

"Yes," she said quickly, glad to find she believed it enough to sound convincing.

Bill nodded and slowly got to his feet. "I probably should get back to CIC. I just needed to see that you were doing…as well as you could be, under the circumstances."

Laura stood up as well, walking around the desk to stand in front of him. "I am now," she told him. She reached out, lightly touching his arm. "Thank you for rescuing us."

"Anything for you, Madame President," he said with a small smile, before turning and leaving. She watched him, until he finally was out of sight, then she walked back to stand at the desk.

She had thought about seeing him again for months and what would happen when they did. Things had changed on New Caprica but now all the old…complications were back. They both knew what that meant.

That wasn't the only thing on her mind, holding her back from truly celebrating the escape. She kept seeing movement out of the corner of her eye and turning, expecting to see Isis running past. She kept searching crowds for Maya's face. But they were gone and ever moment that truth ripped Laura's heart to pieces.

And the worst part is she couldn't say a word about it; couldn't risk drawing too much attention to a teacher's aide and her baby, two dead among hundreds. Especially in the event that they were not dead but had been captured by the Cylons. If that had happened....Laura had no idea what it might mean.

She sat down on the chair and pulled open her desk drawer. She had already placed the paper that said "Olympic Carrier" there. Now she had two more pieces to add.

One was her journal, to stand for everything that New Caprica had come to be. Everything she might have stopped, at the small cost of her soul.

The second was the picture of Maya and Isis. So happy. So young. She placed the photograph inside the book and laid both in her drawer, her file of regrets.

She would never forget any of it.

* * *

[A/N: And that's all she wrote…except for a little acknowledgement here that each chapter title has been a song lyric from a musical. Songs are as follows:

Chapter 1 & 8: "Home," the Wiz

Chapter 2: "Legally Blonde," Legally Blonde

Chapter 3: "As Long As You're Mine," Wicked

Chapter 4: "Not While I'm Around," Sweeney Todd

Chapter 5: "Try to Remember," The Fantasticks

Chapter 6: "Children Will Listen," Into the Woods

Chapter 7: "For Now," Avenue Q]


End file.
